too wierd for tv!

A tree drops these on the sidewalk next to my work every year. They’re neat, right? Pretty to look at? I put a piece of paper from some random boring work documents behind it and VIOLA!!!: a modern girl’s (or man) view of a modern world’s (or chode) ARTTTTT!!!!!

My daily contribution to the fetid piles: HIGHWAY JAKE
(This pustule’s a real dream team of a collaborative troupe effort!, Ng! wiff a bridge by JayZeeJay RapStrR and keyboards by Highway Jake himself?! ! But it still sounds worse than anything? ! . Boo! sssss! Boo)


how do you single-handedly “mind the store” + “have to poop” simultaneously??? cannot be dunn!


Woaps! Another turd fell out! Just more carnage from my attempts to be be procreativing, cha! In a softer world this might sound almost sort-of-Ok/pretty in parts, but I had to get it recorded AND mixed ANANAD mastered allin uh hour buffo my buss come!!! I diddit and so it sounds like a assshole”s beast!!!!At LEAStt!!!


Hunky dunky dunky Sailor Man!!!


Trying to follow throught on the idear that forced productivity HASt to beein an improvement over the indiffedent lullllll of late. ? &The horrdid death noise from today’s explorations of SnoudTarckPor should surely convince any skiptecs…!?


Thass howigoess!!


Smile & do a leap up into the air, Pooglia!!!!!!!!



Green Poop Brown Poop!!!

Man, I can’t believe it! Pal, bandmate, & housemate Michael “Mitch” “Tabey” Tabor up and decides he’s moving to Des Moines to work at Walgreens in a month!







Waiting for the bus!: This morning!:

(Bus, 5 minutes late.)
(Driver, older woman I’ve never seen before.)

DRIVER: Hurry up. Hi. Do you need a transfer?
DRIVER: Thank you.

And, scene!

And you’re like, “What part of that story needed telling, duder?”
And I’m like, “What part of that even constitutes a story, am I right?”

Hey, speaking of which! Have you ever noticed: ladies don’t even hardly scratch themselves in public, but dudes do it all the time! What’s up with that?! I mean, I know they even sell a special anti-itch paste for ladies to use, right? I’ve seen the commercial! So clearly the itching’s there, but nobody’s scratching it! Right? I mean, am I right? A dude man clenches his fingers tight round his scrote-folds to squelch those firey bites of itchness at a moment’s notice! And they don’t even make a cream or gel for a itchy ball very much! Yet only once in my whole lives do I remember hearing a woman friend complaining about being pained by an overly itchy crotch, and even then there were no public displays of groin scratchery. Do women folk just have that much more self-restraint? You know? Am I right? Come on? Hey! Who? I mean, right? Wha’s a d

1 Comment

Jamal complains


Here’s a COOL new movie I made where I whine for 5 minutes and then give a kitten herpes!!!


Still, it goes down smooth

It’s a race against the clock. ! It’s a dynamo. ! Strap on you oxygenated laffy taffy gassy mask and buckle down, bra. !

No, I jest with you, overstimulating your excitable moleculars with an overdone tone of whimsy and jocularity. For real, the only clock racing gone on here is ME! Racing ALL clocks!

It’s just… it’s, it’s just… I… I just it just… I… just… it’s I… just it’s… it’s, just, I it’s… 1)Me (I) spilled a fair amount of “Skunky Brown Water!” on the couch this morning (like… really pungent-ass skunky), and only had about (2)two minutes to clean it up before I had to go catch the bus. So the GiLLION dollasr qu?stions it’s: “Will Stupid Jamal be able to get home from work before his girlfriend? And even if he can, will he have enough time to finish cleaning/hiding his accident???” “” ?”?

Findoubt neckstime, chimp!



Religion is for going to heaven!

You know how sometimes in life you have to compromise your personal, umm… everything? Like for example: when you workin at that local access TV station that you work at, uh huh? and this grizzly lookin, wiry little dude comes in, and at 1st you’re all, “What — is he panhandling?” but no: he saw a show! one of the many, many, mega-religious-right programs we air most every day (free speech, yo! Nobody loves it more than psychopaths!). And what did Grizzly think? He LOVED it! Wanted to get their contact info so he could give them money or join their militia or whatever! Apparently, the presentation he’d seen explained in DETAIL the ways in which “other religions” have been a threat to our country FROM THE START! I knew it! I always wondered why we put up with those fakers at all! How are we supposed to be a unified nation when, what, like a WHOLE FIFTH of the residents aren’t even so much into Big J?? Turns out, Bible studies should have been an inherent, deeply ingrained part of the “schooling process” all along!!! DUH!

So, yeah, I find the info. he wants, he’s thrilled, he assumes without even having to look at me that I’m right on board for ALL JESUS ALL THE TIME INC!, he yaps about making a show of his own, he leaves. A second later, the Rev. who turned this particular program in in the 1st place arrives to bless us with a couple more Godly Hate-Speech videos.


Hey, PeeExx: What’s with all those stats for “major religions in the U.S”, anyway? Is it really over 80% Christian? That’s what the stuff I see always says. 80-some% is a lot of %, no? That Jesus gets around, I guess. That slutty, slutty Jesus.



Nmmm, I chickned out and hide the pornrolls. They still around, juss not spaLAshin in you face at the moment. (My mom now has internets AND cable TV and every dang thang, yo!)

Iss been, what, over a week, yeah? Still can’t find my clothes. I’m just learning to accept it, and thinking about what I need to buy. Also, at work, a skeletor biker-chick’s savagely narsty dog tried to ravage me and tore the only pants I could find that weren’t filthy. ANNNNDDD… our warshin machine is broke. so. I’ve got my newly ripped pants and my disgustylingawful paants.. HiLARity.



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