Waiting for the bus!: This morning!:
(Bus, 5 minutes late.)
(Driver, older woman I’ve never seen before.)
DRIVER: Hurry up. Hi. Do you need a transfer?
JMALL: No.
DRIVER: Thank you.
And, scene!
And you’re like, “What part of that story needed telling, duder?”
And I’m like, “What part of that even constitutes a story, am I right?”
Hey, speaking of which! Have you ever noticed: ladies don’t even hardly scratch themselves in public, but dudes do it all the time! What’s up with that?! I mean, I know they even sell a special anti-itch paste for ladies to use, right? I’ve seen the commercial! So clearly the itching’s there, but nobody’s scratching it! Right? I mean, am I right? A dude man clenches his fingers tight round his scrote-folds to squelch those firey bites of itchness at a moment’s notice! And they don’t even make a cream or gel for a itchy ball very much! Yet only once in my whole lives do I remember hearing a woman friend complaining about being pained by an overly itchy crotch, and even then there were no public displays of groin scratchery. Do women folk just have that much more self-restraint? You know? Am I right? Come on? Hey! Who? I mean, right? Wha’s a d
Actually we are all given instruction booklets — “The Womanly Guide on How to properly scratch outside of the home”. It was published in 1922 I believe and is still used today. Much like the ancient samauri, it focuses on control, undetection, and subtle but extremely efficient movements. There was a Men’s version, but it was lost years ago.