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Bible Time with White Jamal! (Featuring a half-assed King Toad preformance)

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A short work in progress. 4.16.12

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Frightened By The Internet Again

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Bible Thumpin!

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“That’s Sweet, Alice!” aka “Golly Hellfire!” aka “Murder Church, Too!” aka “Stab a Big Gross Fatty and His Kitty Will Lap Up the Blood!”

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“Bullet” by King Toad; feat. the t. to the r. to the icky. ! .

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Scarebo 2000

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Religion is for going to heaven!

You know how sometimes in life you have to compromise your personal, umm… everything? Like for example: when you workin at that local access TV station that you work at, uh huh? and this grizzly lookin, wiry little dude comes in, and at 1st you’re all, “What — is he panhandling?” but no: he saw a show! one of the many, many, mega-religious-right programs we air most every day (free speech, yo! Nobody loves it more than psychopaths!). And what did Grizzly think? He LOVED it! Wanted to get their contact info so he could give them money or join their militia or whatever! Apparently, the presentation he’d seen explained in DETAIL the ways in which “other religions” have been a threat to our country FROM THE START! I knew it! I always wondered why we put up with those fakers at all! How are we supposed to be a unified nation when, what, like a WHOLE FIFTH of the residents aren’t even so much into Big J?? Turns out, Bible studies should have been an inherent, deeply ingrained part of the “schooling process” all along!!! DUH!

So, yeah, I find the info. he wants, he’s thrilled, he assumes without even having to look at me that I’m right on board for ALL JESUS ALL THE TIME INC!, he yaps about making a show of his own, he leaves. A second later, the Rev. who turned this particular program in in the 1st place arrives to bless us with a couple more Godly Hate-Speech videos.

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Hey, PeeExx: What’s with all those stats for “major religions in the U.S”, anyway? Is it really over 80% Christian? That’s what the stuff I see always says. 80-some% is a lot of %, no? That Jesus gets around, I guess. That slutty, slutty Jesus.

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